We invited the men on Ladies Trip – now what?

ladies 2

View from Room

Ladies Trip – it is the best, most relaxing way to unwind and have zero responsibility.  This year we thought – let’s invite the men?  What were we thinking… For about the last 10 years my friends and I have gone on an annual ladies trip, it started with 4, in the height there were 10 ladies.  Originally the need for Ladies trip was to catch a break, 4 days of nothing but lounging around, reading trashy ladies magazines, the latest Novels, and gossiping about life, kids and husbands.  Most guys probably thought we spent the days complaining but we never really did, sure there were the occasional grips but mostly we wanted time away from the 24/7 care of kids, work and the household and yes – husbands.  It’s so liberating to think about you and only you for 4 whole days.  No demands of ‘whats for lunch”, “take me dance,practice, ???”, “Mom, Mom, Mom”.

mom daughters

Mom and Daughters

Recently Ladies Trip has become Mother/Daughter time.  How wonderful.  This year we thought “why not include our husbands” .  As soon as we did this we thought – what have we done… We show up at the airport and the men are like children- not sure where to go, waiting for instruction, I’m not even sure they know where we are going.  Why on earth would we book a 6 am flight!!  They don’t understand our need to be poolside before 11 am!  We show up and take our position pool side – there is instant confusion. “Is this what we do?”  ” Do we sit here and read” “is there more”.  Finally they  go off and figure out how to rent bikes and do what they want. There is peace, this might work?

men

the Husbands

The men just don’t know or understand why we sit, lounge in the sun, talk and read magazines and books. They don’t understand why we talk about the stuff we read in these ladies magazines. They don’t recognize as Mothers’ we are trained to make due with little bits of time to read a quick article – magazines provide  short, interesting stories about life, health, family, the world. My first ladies trip I read 3 books, it was the brilliant, for the first time in years I had time and energy to read and not fall asleep.     Okay back to the Men are from Mars,Woman are from Venus. This is a true statement – Men really do complicate the Ladies trip vibe. They try to roll with it but we find there are  bumps in the road.  They don’t understand – we lay around, we talk, we float in the pool, we walk the beach, talk some more and primp for dinner.  It’s great to worry about no one but ourselves. Men make you worry about them?  How they do this I don’t know but it happens. Suddenly we are discussing what will they want, will they like this?  We try to relax but they add a  certain amount of stress.  It’s not bad stress but stress nonetheless.         The funniest discussion is the Spa!  My Husband, Frank, isn’t interested.  We take him for a walk through, actually we drag him on a walk  through.  He can’t imagine why would you want to go inside when we have lived

The Spa

The Spa

through one of the worst cold, snowy, never ending New England winters.  No amount of explanation that this is a different spa with amazing outdoor facilities will convince him.  Fast track to the last day and Frank realizes he will be alone while we are all in the spa, he signs up for a massage.  Again this is the difference between men and women – what woman would refuse a massage and time in the spa!  Then of course “I need a female Masseuse” from Frank, which means a Sophie has to move to a male masseuse.  Ok she will accommodate her Dad and take the male.    All in all it is a great day relaxing and being pampered before the flight home where the temperature will be 40* and raining.   Finally, I can’t decide if Ladies Trip or Mother/Daughter trip should include the Men.  It was a relaxing trip, the weather amazing, the company and conversation lively and fun but there is just something to be said about travelling with just women.  The vibe is different – its hard to explain.  Is it that we as Mothers and woman are simply caregivers – as a general rule – that we are accustomed to putting others ahead of ourselves? Does inviting men put us back in the position of ‘manager’ and the whole point of a ladies trip is to be selfish and worry about ourselves for 4 days?  How and when will we learn to be like men and let others manage and take care of us.  Eitherway my decision is that I am so happy to have enjoyed a few days away and feel fortunate to be in the company of great friends and loved ones – men included!!

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